Imaginary dialogue with an afterlife salesperson

- There's a lot of different options here, could you help me ?
- Sure. It depends a lot on what you're ready to do during your lifetime. This product for instance requires that you follow a set of 10 easy rules.
- What do I get ?
- A place in the countryside with gentle animals all around.
- Sounds a bit tame.
- Ok. Let's see. Would you be willing to undergo a small penis alteration ?
- What ?! No way.
- How about having several wives but abstaining from alcohol, tobacco, tea and coffee ?
- Tempting but I work in the IT industry. I couldn't quit coffee.
- What about this offer that comes with 72 virgins.
- Hmm, sounds like a lot of teaching to do. What's required ?
- You have to put on several pairs of underwear and blow yourself up.
- Huh, anything else ?
- There's this new product that instead guarantees you 12 sluts and...
- Ok, deal.